The Sweary Highland Cow Calendar 2027 – Printable A4 Digital Download

12 months of fluff, attitude & absolutely zero patience.

Meet the grumpiest, cheekiest, most foul-mouthed herd of Highland cows you'll ever hang on your wall. Each month features a different hand-illustrated Highland cow with its own sweary "dictionary definition", from Fuckitologist in January to Festive Fucker in December.

What you get

• 1 x high-quality PDF (13 pages): cover + January to December 2027
• A4 portrait (210 × 297 mm), ready to print at home or at a local print shop
• Weeks start on Monday
• UK bank holidays highlighted, including Easter and Christmas substitute days
• Handy key dates: Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Halloween, Bonfire Night, clock changes and more
• Clean white pages, so there's no awkward border when printed on a home printer

The 2027 herd

January – Fuckitologist · February – Fuckzilla · March – Shitshow Supervisor · April – Clusterfuck Coordinator · May – Bollocks Detector · June – Grumpy Fucker · July – Sasshole · August – Absofuckinglutely · September – Not My Fucking Problem · October – Fuckoffee · November – Twat Magnet · December – Festive Fucker

Printing tips

• Print at 100% / Actual size (not "Fit to page")
• Use 160–200gsm matt card or matt photo paper for the best finish
• Punch a hole top-centre to hang, or have it wire-bound at a print shop

Please note

• This is a digital download. No physical item will be sent.
• Your download link is emailed to you straight after purchase.
• For personal use only. Not for resale or redistribution.
• Contains strong language. Not suitable for children.
• Colours may vary slightly depending on your printer and paper.