The Sweary Cat Calendar 2027 – Printable A4 Digital Download

12 months of judgement, chaos & cat-astrophic bullshit.

For anyone who has ever been personally victimised by a cat. Each month features a gorgeously illustrated, deeply unimpressed cat with its own sweary "dictionary definition", from Nap All, Fuck All in January to Merry Fucking Catmas in December.

What you get

• 1 x high-quality PDF (13 pages): cover + January to December 2027
• A4 portrait (210 × 297 mm), ready to print at home or at a local print shop
• Weeks start on Monday
• UK bank holidays highlighted, including Easter and Christmas substitute days
• Handy key dates: Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Halloween, Bonfire Night, clock changes and more
• Clean white pages, so there's no awkward border when printed on a home printer

The 2027 clowder

January – Nap All, Fuck All · February – Fur Fucks Sake · March – Professional Arsehole · April – Hangry Little Shit · May – Chief Shit Stirrer · June – Pet Me, Piss Off · July – Hissy Fit Specialist · August – Judgemental Bastard · September – Zero Fucks Given · October – Feline Fuckwit · November – Purrsonally Offended · December – Merry Fucking Catmas

Printing tips

• Print at 100% / Actual size (not "Fit to page")
• Use 160–200gsm matt card or matt photo paper for the best finish
• Punch a hole top-centre to hang, or have it wire-bound at a print shop

Please note

• This is a digital download. No physical item will be sent.
• Your download link is emailed to you straight after purchase.
• For personal use only. Not for resale or redistribution.
• Contains strong language. Not suitable for children.
• Colours may vary slightly depending on your printer and paper.